Weekend Update

While I probably won't get the chance to use the famous phrase, "Jane, you ignorant slut," this is still my weekend update. Hold on, it'll likely be a bumpy ride.

I think we're all painfully aware of what a blundering fool our President is, right? Well, apparently it's contagious. In the two weeks since VP Dick Cheney proclaimed that the Iraq insurgency was in its "last throes," the top-ranking U.S. general in the Persian Gulf has reported to Congress that the insurgency isn't getting weaker at all; in fact, it may be strengthening, and just today on "Fox News Sunday," our incredibly stupid Secretary of Defense, Donald "I know I'm fucking everything up, but Bush won't let me resign" Rumsfeld said that not only could the insurgency grow stronger throughout the year, but that it could be a 12-year fight to achieve victory. So let's recap: Our VP says the insurgency is weakening substantially and is indeed in its final throes, implying that their defeat is imminent. Our Defense Secretary begs to differ, saying that the insurgency is getting stronger and could take a dozen years to beat down. Where did he come up with that figure anyway? Seems rather arbitrary.

Is this the most blindly incompetent administration we've had in a couple of generations now, or am I missing something? They can't even present a united front in their idiocy. Meanwhile, the British media are reporting that U.S. officials are conducting secret negotiations with the leaders of the insurgency. I'm thinking they're just confusing secret meetings with the Bush administration's normal hobnobbing with the Saudis.

Because that's who's fueling the insurgency, folks. And oh yeah, that's who flew the planes into the World Trade Center, too. So we attacked Iraq... and now, we're told that we're there to bring the shining light of freedom and democracy to this country. Which is a noble-sounding goal, but that's not the reason we were given for going to war two years ago. We were doing it to depose Saddam Hussein and dismantle his staggering stockpiles of WMDs. Well, now we've got Saddam, and we're supplying him with an apparently endless supply of Doritos and underwear photo ops. But now the reason for invading the country has changed? Whaaaaaa? Are we going to attack China next? You know, for the sake of democracy? Just wondering.

As if this mess in Iraq isn't bad enough, now this administration is meddling in the affairs of Iran as well, with Rumsfeld denouncing the recent Iranian presidential elections and declaring them to be "invalid." I'm sorry, but who the bloody hell does this guy think he is? The last time I checked, Iran--for better or worse--was a sovereign nation, not subject to the rule or opinion of the United States in any way, shape, or form. If Rumsfeld wants to see an invalid election, he really need go no further than to the one held in this country in November 2000. The sheer brazen arrogance of Bush and his cohorts just continues to stupefy me. I don't think any of them possess a shred of diplomacy.

So enough politics, it's depressing as hell. To those of you who voted to keep these jackasses in office until January 2009, thanks very much. Seriously, way to go. As if the first four years weren't hellish enough.

Moving along, I can honestly say I've never been much of a Tom Cruise fan. I think that a sizeable chunk of his roles are basically just reprisals of his "Maverick" role from Top Gun. And lately, Cruise has just been a freak on wheels and you can't open a news website or turn on the TV without something about Tom Cruise being thrown in your face, so that makes me just loathe him even more. But still... I have a real interest in seeing this new movie he's in, War of the Worlds. Although I wish someone else had been cast in his role, I still want to see it. It's a great story, the trailers look awesome, and that little Dakota Fanning girl is always a wonder to behold... such a great little actress.

But yeah, so apparently Cruise picked a bit of a fight with Matt Lauer during an interview, getting all snitty about his Scientology beliefs. So not wanting to prejudge, and being pretty open-minded about religion, I actually did a modicum of research on this crap. And I'm sorry, it's crap. It's this ridiculous amalgam of pyschobabble and rules dreamed up by L. Ron Hubbard, who died in 1986. So Cruise, who publicly ridiculed Brooke Shields for using prescribed antidepressants to deal with postpartum depression, basically told Matt Lauer he was a neophyte who didn't understand the history of psychiatry the way he (Cruise) did. Very condescending interview... I watched a clip of it online and read the transcript. So I'm guessing Tom Cruise's handlers are flipping out, watching their little cash cow publicly self-destruct a little more with each passing day. Ugh, enough of this, too... I'm boring myself just writing it.

Onward to the new week...